How many times have you asked yourself, “What do these kids know about the real world?” If this is true for children with every opportunity, the latest iPod, and all the perks of a middle-class household, imagine how it must be for those whose opportunities seem limited, whose view of themselves and their families is more like a melodrama and less like a situation comedy. Susan, who participated in The Bridge mentoring program, wanted to know, and with a little help from The Bridge and Old Navy, she was able to find out.

Most kids, twelve-year old girls especially, know all about Old Navy, what kinds of clothes they have, what’s in and what’s out, but Susan hadn’t been there much. New clothes were a luxury to her, something she looked forward to on birthdays and Christmas. Otherwise she and her family made due with what they had. When Old Navy’s Arlington Heights store selected The Bridge Youth & Family Services for their Camp Old Navy program, a job-shadowing day for young people in the community interested in retail careers, Susan jumped at the chance.

Working with The Bridge, Old Navy asked Susan and her Mom to come to the store by 9:00 AM, when they opened. They arrived at 8:30, a bit apprehensive, but excited. The variety and extent of the merchandise overwhelmed Susan during a brief tour of the store. She quickly sought opportunities to help the employees with their various tasks, including restocking the sales floor, monitoring the fitting rooms, and cashiering. At noon, the manager bought Susan lunch and invited her to join the employees for their lunch break. Susan’s favorite parts of the day were dressing the mannequins and learning to use the cash register.

Susan made such a great impression that the Arlington Heights Old Navy store donated $250 to The Bridge, and promised to make the same job-shadowing offer in 2010. Camp Old Navy was a big hit for The Bridge, Old Navy, and especially for Susan, who is eager to learn more about the world of retail, along with other job opportunities. With the help of The Bridge and her community, we’re hoping that Susan discovers a myriad of worlds and possibilities beyond her imagination. The Bridge Youth & Family Services really does connect children, families and community. Just ask Susan.

Ben is an 8-year-old who lives in Palatine with his mom, dad and brother, Michael. He came to The Bridge after being hit by a car while riding his bike. After the accident Ben’s demeanor changed. His parents no longer saw him laughing or making jokes and he stopped talking to them about his feelings. 

After several weeks, with the help of a counselor, Ben began to open up. Ben was having trouble sleeping. He was having nightmares and was afraid of the dark. He also was forgetting what people said to him and where he placed things, fighting with his brother more frequently and losing weight due to anxiety. His nightmares continued to increase in intensity.

The counselor met with both Ben and his family. The counselor determined that Ben was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), most likely caused by the accident and the recent death of his grandmother. The counselor educated the parents on PTSD and recommended a psychiatric evaluation.  Ben met with a psychiatrist at The Bridge and was given medication to lessen his anxiety and other symptoms. With medication and counseling, Ben is slowly returning back “to his old self.” He is working on ways to relax, reduce his anxiety and communicate with his family. Ben's family remains supportive, very close and is well on its way to recovery.

John suffered physical and emotional abuse first from his father and later from his foster parents. After being placed in the care of Jane, a family friend, it became clear that Jane's own mental health issues prevented her from adequately caring for John.

When Jane expressed a desire to see John reunited with his own father, it became necessary for the court system to mandate counseling for both Jane and John. This was done in order to help her better manage John's disruptive behaviors as well as to understand that placing John with his father was clearly an unsafe situation.

With the help of the school John was attending and his therapist at the Bridge, John was able to learn how to control his severe temper tantrums and his aggression towards other students when he became frustrated. He has been able to enter into a "behavioral contract" and both his grades and his relationships with other students and teachers has dramatically improved.

John has learned how to work through his past abuse, connect with his own genuine feelings and understand what triggers his destructive behaviors and Jane has learned what lies at the heart of his actions and reactions. John still longs for visitation with his father, but he is making great strides in many areas of his life.

Rich Scalzo, R.Ph., Bridge Volunteer

These days everyone knows that life is hard, that it can beat you down, but for John, that abuse was emotional, physical, and continuous, and John was only 8-years old. No one was there to protect or defend him. No one was on his side.

John was abused by his father, and when at last he was rescued and placed in foster care at age 6, the abuse continued. It must have seemed to John that the world was a brutal place, and love was just a sucker bet. As an 8 year old, the state finally removed him from that foster home, and placed him with Wendy, a family friend who at last brought a little kindness into John’s life.

While John’s life with Wendy was an improvement, it was no bed of roses. Wendy felt awkward and overwhelmed around him. She had no idea how to handle his temper tantrums and aggression toward people, and she had issues with the court. Wendy wanted to reunite John with his father, but the courts would hear none of it. They mandated counseling for John, and parenting classes for Wendy. John, who had lost faith in the world, waited for things to get worse, but instead, encountered something he had never counted on. Hope.

Though Wendy went into parenting classes practically kicking and screaming, she soon discovered that the techniques she learned in those sessions made life with John easier and more fulfilling. She was also able to recognize that reuniting John with his father was not what was best for John. Not without a change in attitude and parenting style. Not without compassion.

John also went into therapy kicking and screaming – literally. He was used to having force met with force, but in counseling sessions his therapist responded with empathy and acceptance. In school John exhibited severe temper tantrums and other conduct issues. John’s therapist set up a behavioral contract that involved his primary teacher, a special education teacher, school psychologist and recess monitor. Suddenly, John felt people cared about him. Not only is his life at home improving dramatically, but he is better able to control himself at school, to get his work done, and to establish friendships with other students.

It takes a village to raise a child, the saying goes, and in John’s case that village was expanded and nurtured at The Bridge Youth & Family Services. The Bridge connects children, families and community in a way that provides hope and humanity in the darkest corners of our most precious resource. Our children.

John also went into therapy kicking and screaming – literally. He was used to having force met with force, but in counseling sessions his therapist responded with empathy and acceptance. In school John exhibited severe temper tantrums and other conduct issues. John’s therapist set up a behavioral contract that involved his primary teacher, a special education teacher, school psychologist and recess monitor. Suddenly, John felt people cared about him. Not only is his life at home improving dramatically, but he is better able to control himself at school, to get his work done, and to establish friendships with other students.

It takes a village to raise a child, the saying goes, and in John’s case that village was expanded and nurtured at The Bridge Youth & Family Services. The Bridge connects children, families and community in a way that provides hope and humanity in the darkest corners of our most precious resource. Our children.

It’s not easy being a teenage parent, and when you’re doing it alone, it can be exhausting. Tammy was overwhelmed, both physically and emotionally, and although she tried her best, she always felt inadequate. So it didn’t help when she fell asleep on the couch while her 3-year old son Luke was playing in the living room, managed to pop open the front door and make his way outside. Frantically, she searched the yard and nearby streets to no avail. When the police car drove up with her son, she was thrilled, but unprepared for the events that would follow.

The police notified the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, and they demanded that she obtain counseling. Tammy saw this as one more indication that she a failure, but was encouraged that a major component of her therapy was parent education. In therapy, Tammy described Luke as a stubborn child who became angry and aggressive when he didn’t get his way. She thought children were supposed to be cute, cuddly and affectionate, but Luke often ignored her completely, or threw outrageous temper tantrums.

What began as another requirement in her already demanding life quickly became a source of hope and encouragement for Tammy. Initially in therapy, she learned what she could realistically expect from her son and what steps she needed to take to insure his safety. The Bridge also referred Tammy to a parent-mentoring program that would match her with a volunteer parent who not only supported and encouraged her emotionally, but gave her practical help as well. That reduced the anxiety and stress, but the best was yet to come.

Tammy’s therapist taught her Child Parent Relationship Therapy, which is designed to build the child’s sense of responsibility and accomplishment while strengthening the child-parent relationship. With a weekly 30-minute special play time and a new method of setting limits, Tammy began to create a solid and affectionate relationship with her son. She began to recognize and understand what Luke was feeling, to let him know that she understood him, and to lovingly communicate limits and target alternatives.

Today, Tammy has great confidence in her skills and abilities as a Mom, and enjoys her relationship with Luke, who has become more cooperative and happy. What began as a nightmare for Tammy became her salvation.

The Bridge connects children, families, and community by helping young people and their families achieve social and emotional health. The Bridge offers classes in Child Parent Relationship Therapy for interested parents.

Contact Stephanie at (847) 359-7490 or email for more information.