It’s not easy being a teenage parent, and when you’re doing it alone, it can be exhausting. Tammy was overwhelmed, both physically and emotionally, and although she tried her best, she always felt inadequate. So it didn’t help when she fell asleep on the couch while her 3-year old son Luke was playing in the living room, managed to pop open the front door and make his way outside. Frantically, she searched the yard and nearby streets to no avail. When the police car drove up with her son, she was thrilled, but unprepared for the events that would follow.
The police notified the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, and they demanded that she obtain counseling. Tammy saw this as one more indication that she a failure, but was encouraged that a major component of her therapy was parent education. In therapy, Tammy described Luke as a stubborn child who became angry and aggressive when he didn’t get his way. She thought children were supposed to be cute, cuddly and affectionate, but Luke often ignored her completely, or threw outrageous temper tantrums.
What began as another requirement in her already demanding life quickly became a source of hope and encouragement for Tammy. Initially in therapy, she learned what she could realistically expect from her son and what steps she needed to take to insure his safety. The Bridge also referred Tammy to a parent-mentoring program that would match her with a volunteer parent who not only supported and encouraged her emotionally, but gave her practical help as well. That reduced the anxiety and stress, but the best was yet to come.
Tammy’s therapist taught her Child Parent Relationship Therapy, which is designed to build the child’s sense of responsibility and accomplishment while strengthening the child-parent relationship. With a weekly 30-minute special play time and a new method of setting limits, Tammy began to create a solid and affectionate relationship with her son. She began to recognize and understand what Luke was feeling, to let him know that she understood him, and to lovingly communicate limits and target alternatives.
Today, Tammy has great confidence in her skills and abilities as a Mom, and enjoys her relationship with Luke, who has become more cooperative and happy. What began as a nightmare for Tammy became her salvation.
The Bridge connects children, families, and community by helping young people and their families achieve social and emotional health. The Bridge offers classes in Child Parent Relationship Therapy for interested parents.
Contact Stephanie at (847) 359-7490 or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it for more information.
